


The Letter

by happy29



Category: due South
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 03:43:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6454024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happy29/pseuds/happy29
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the shooting in Victoria's Secret, Ray finds Fraser's letter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Letter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ButterflyGhost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyGhost/gifts).



Life as we both know it just came to a screeching halt. It’s all still a blur in my mind. The falling snow swirled around your lifeless body as it mixed and melted into the crimson blood flowing out from around you on the hard platform. I don’t remember pulling the trigger.

But I did.

Where do we go from here Benny? How do we fix this? What happened? I stare at your lifeless body and silently scream and beg for you to wake up, to move a finger, to somehow communicate with me. But you don’t. You’re hooked up to so many tubes and IVs, fighting for your life.

Oh God, after what Victoria did to you, what I did to you… I pray you’re still fighting.

The room starts to close in on me and my unanswered questions and I desperately need some fresh air. I leave the hospital for the first time in I don’t know how many hours and start to drive aimlessly. Trying to clear my head, trying to remember how we got here. It hits me right in the chest as I pull into a vacant parking spot.

Victoria.

That’s how we got here, that’s how we got into this mess. And now somehow, we have to figure out how to dig ourselves out of it and bury the demons of the past. That is if you manage to pull through and find some way to forgive me.

I have to see Dief. I have to make sure that he is okay. I really don’t know what else to do and I need to feel connected to you somehow. Dief is that connection. When I get to his cage, I find a note slipped in between the wires of his kennel. A note for me, written in your perfect penmanship. I used to think you were perfect, too good to be true. Now, I realize you’re just human like the rest of us.

I open up Dief’s kennel door and pull one of the hard plastic chairs close. I scratch him between the ears and he whines, wondering why I’m here in your place. I turn the envelope in my hands. It’s thick and heavy. Something must have been weighing heavy on your heart. I’m scared to open it. I’m not sure that I am prepared to bear your burden as well.

But you’re my friend.

I carefully slide my finger underneath the flap and tear the envelope open. I read your words silently.

_Ray,_

_If you’re reading this letter, something has happened to me one way or the other. Either way, I am gone. I have to find out for myself why she came back to destroy me. I have to find out where she is going, what her motive is… I have to find out why I still love her when logic tells me I shouldn’t._

_Please forgive me. I can only imagine how betrayed you must feel by me, your friend. How you must feel like you’ve been stabbed in the back by someone you’re supposed to be able to trust, someone you’re supposed to be able to rely on. I used to be that person. I was that person._

_Until Victoria. She’s my undoing. My kryptonite. And I don’t know why._

_I know I will never be able to make it up to you for what I’m about to do, but if I’m right, the evidence will set you free. But you will still lose it all with my decision to hunt Victoria down._

_Enclosed is the deed to my father’s land. The cabin is ashes and worth nothing. Victoria made sure of that. I know how much you loathe the snow and cold and the expanded wilderness. Sell it. There should be enough to get your home back._

_And Ray, if something happens to me and with Victoria’s track record there’s no doubt in my mind that something will, I’ve named you the sole beneficiary to my will. The money my father left me, the money from Gerrard, my life insurance… it all goes to you. None of this will ever right the wrong I’ve done to you, to your family. But it will help get you through._

_I pray that one day you will find it in your heart to forgive me. One day, I hope you will understand why I had to follow her._

_One day, I hope to understand my decision as well._

_Always your friend,_

_Benton Fraser_

Oh God, Benny. Please don’t hate me for stopping you. One day, I hope you’ll understand. One day we'll fix this.

 


End file.
